A few minutes later Becky’s dad, Jim walked down the stairs and in to the kitchen. He got himself some cereal and joined us at the table. “Morning” he said as he sat down. We all said good morning “I guess you can drive now” he said “When did you pull in” “Yesterday afternoon at about 6 pm” “You know we are leaving today, right?” he asked “Yes, and I am offering to drive you guys in because I live that way anyway, and it is better than parking a car there for a month, which will cost a lot.” “Are you a good driver?” “I have a commercial4 license.” “Why?” He asked “All EMTs need to have one in my township, so you can drive an ambulance.” Becky’s mom cut in “You’re an EMT?” she asked. (fyi, EMTs are the people in ambulances) “Yes” I said. We finished breakfast and Becky and I walked back to the house while her parents finished doing a few things in the house. I helped her carry her bags to the trunk of my hummer and lift them in. We then locked up the house and got in the car.. I was never rejected. I didn't suffer from underperforming. Allowances were always made for me because I was so beautiful."It prevented me from learning to develop relationships with other people. I could make connections with people, but they were always based on my superiority in the connections. People connected with me for what it gave them and I connected for what it gave me. I had control. I had dominance. They had status by virtue of the connection."It made me pathologically selfish. I saw everything and everyone in terms of what was in it for me. I barely recognized there was another side to the equation. And, to take a page from your ubiquitous math analogies, the equation was always an inequality - Ashley is greater than whomever."It denied me the ability to appreciate almost everything. I had almost everything I wanted. I could do whatever I wanted. I could get almost anything I wanted and I never had to make much of an effort for any of it. How could I value anything when.
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